In my ideal world

Auto mechanics and bikers dance in garage forecourts in perfect unison while singing flawless five-part harmonies. If real life was like this there would be no war. Billy Joel, you win me. Again.

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What happens when you die

As good an explanation as I’ve seen.

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Edgar Oliver

edgar-oliver
I came upon Mr. Oliver during his recent appearance on The Moth and I may never be the same. That voice. My goodness, that voice.
I don’t know what’s more remarkable about this fellow– the fact that he appears to be an absolutely brilliant crazy person, or the fact that almost no one has heard of him.
I also read that he’s in  Gentlemen Broncos that may be reason enough to watch it. Here’s another picture of his apartment.

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Things that make me happy, #2

That’s me at 0:39

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Craigslist > Twitter

Everybody’s going on and on about Twitter, but in my mind it will never be able to top Craigslist in terms of sheer usefulness. Not to mention entertainment.

Case in point: I woke up one weekend morning recently and decided it was time to start keeping my clothes in an actual dresser (rather than on bookshelves I found in the garbage). Enter Craigslist, and $125 later, I had this lovely vanity delivered to my door. According to a label on the back, it was originally purchased from a furniture store at Queen & Bathurst in 1938.

Fuck 140 characters, trendy tacos and revolt in Iran. Give me something I can use.

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Things I Found in the Garbage, #1

chair-no-flashchair-detail

I was on my way out to do karaoke in the East End a few weeks ago when I found this charming chair sitting on the curb. I immediately grabbed it, turned around, and deposited on the back porch before heading out again. In semi-related news, I did a successful cover of Little Red Rooster, and a terrible version of something by Phil Collins that I can’t remember now. To give Phil his credit, he has a far greater vocal range than I.

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The Pirelli Calendar: Not a Tire in Sight

I wrote this story about the infamous Pirelli Calendar sometime last year, but it’s up again on the Sharp website in honour of the calendar’s return.

Say you’re a 1960’s-era Italian tire company executive and you’re sitting around trying to think up a good way to raise the profile of your product. Since you’ve just come from the premiere of Barbarella, you are all over the notion that putting a beautiful and scantily clad woman in something, anything, will make that thing more popular, no matter the inherent absurdity of the whole. Tires, you think, may be utilitarian, but there’s no reason they should be any different from a film about fur-clad psychedelic space bandits. Then you got to work.

Such, we suspect, was the inspiration behind the first Pirelli calendar back in 1964. Simple and tasteful, it consisted of 12 photos of models posing on beaches in their itsy bitsy teeny weenie 1960s cotton swimwear. There are no tires anywhere to be seen. The photography, while not as bizarre as any part of Barbarella, was high quality and artful. A closeup of a midriff took the place of a full portrait one month, and a woman’s closed eyes and pouting mouth stood in for another.

The calendars continued in much the same fashion until 1971, when, in some flash of artistic genius, one of the models was instructed to “lose the top, sweetheart” (which sounds much nicer in Italian, of course) and lo and behold there was a nipple. This was held back until June of that historic year, but then there it was, a full-on breast, spilling out of a model’s gauzy top as she lay on a black sand beach, ravished by the frothy waves. Very tasteful, of course, and still no tires anywhere in sight.

Read the rest at Sharpformen.com

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Things that make me happy, #1

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